BREAKING NEWS: "We're Out Of Money!" Says GM

GM Headquarters In Detroit

Friday GM officials announced that the nations largest automotive maker sustained major third-quarter losses at a sum of $2.5B. Officials say that during the current quarter, GM has used $6.9B, which means that GM “will approach the minimum amount necessary to operate its’ business.”

This desperate news has temporarily halted talks between GM and Chrysler about a possible merger. GM has proposed a plan to stop the bleeding that will affect its’ white and blue collar employees. GM says that it will indefinitely lay-off 3,600 salaried employee positions, which will save the automotive giant $500M. In January, 10 plants will began a slow-down in production.

Bottom line?

If you are employed by GM, get that resume updated and start a account with Monster.Com. Don’t wait for the pink slip to find you with your undies down around your ankles. Take it from me.

An indefinitely laid-off Chrysler employee.

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