The First Presidential Debate In The Can! Three More To Go!

It was a debate within itself whether or not Senator John McCain should show up at Ole Miss Friday night. It was a debate whether or not there should even be a debate given the status of the $700 billion dollar Congressional bailout proposal. But just in case, visitors to the great state of Mississippi were reminded Thursday that despite the critical financial crisis that America is facing, if the debates were cancelled, shopping and costly sight-seeing of museums and tourists attractions are the next best thing.

Fortunately, the 2008 Presidential Debates kicked off without a hitch or a bipartisan agreement on the $700 billion bailout proposal. I watched the debates and made some pretty good notes out of my observation. Instead of reporting who said what and why, I have decided to report what perhaps the average American was thinking as the minutes of the debate ticked away:

9:02pm: Barack Obama’s suit is eye-catching. John McCain’s looks kinda washed out. Like the colors are faded or something. Makes me think of that color fade commerical by Tide. Also reminds me of the Presidential Debates between JFK and Nixon. Who is McCain’s stylist? Fire ‘em!

9:28pm: $10 billion a day spent on the war in Iraq? How much is that a month? A year? Five years? $360 billion times five! Where’s my calculator…

9:30pm: Ok. If you’re going to attack a brotha, look ‘em in the eye will ya! McCain refuses to eyeball Obama even after being asked repeatedly to speak directly to him.

9:36pm: Had to get something to drink. Oil company profits! Give us a slice of that! What does McCain consider “rich?” Why would he ask Obama that? Obama has one house to his seven!

9:43pm: Obama, no you didn’t! No you didn’t show your dead soldier bracelet, too! That was beyond stupid! Let McCain do that bit! It is beyond childish for either of you to do that bracelet thing in the first place! Whoever told these grown men to act like they are five year old kindergartners should be fired!

9:48pm: I wish McCain would get off that “Miss Congeniality” crap! Obama is not Gay nor is he a Tranny or a closeted Drag Queen. You would think that McCain would look Obama in the eye behind that crack!

10:01pm: Obama kinda fumbling around there. He already made the point that he voted against invading Iraq. Now McCain has laid a good one on him: ” The next President will have to decide how we leave, when we leave and will we leave behind.” I liked that. True point.

10:02pm: I wish they stop using that word “fundamental.” Tenth time already, I think. Maybe I need to keep a record.

10:11pm: That Obama really knows his history. Glad that he does. McCain may have lived it, but there’s nothing wrong with getting educated on a matter if you weren’t born when it happened. Good for you Barack! Why is McCain smiling? Why won’t he smile at Barack? Doesn’t make sense…

10:13pm: There’s that word again: fundamental difference.

10:15pm: Uh Oh! McCain fired up! Getting kinda animated there! McCain’s getting in some hot points! And he’s laughing! Cool! Too bad he still ‘fraid to look at homeboy.

10:18pm: Are we gonna overuse this word too? (precondition)

10:19pm: McCain, you’re making no sense here! If you saw the letters K-G-B in the eyes of Putin, why is it so hard to suppose that a cold war could be in the future? KGB equals the cold war! DUH!

10:35pm: I lost an uncle in the Vietnam War. I empathize with McCain, as the rest of American does. Obama is really listening to McCain. Respecting McCain. Too bad that doesn’t work both ways!

10:37pm: Americans do not doubt John McCain’s commitment to U.S. Vets. Is he going to continue to beat us over the heads with it?

So, those were the highlights from the average American watching the debates. Americans don’t really care about the numbers and the figures. What Americans really want to know is: how long the war is going to last, will America invade Iran without provocation, how high will taxes become in the next four years, will gas prices ever drop below $3, can America afford to fund universal health care and why is milk and cereal so doggone expensive?!

AND…Why is it so hard to look your opponent in the eye, especially if you are confident that you are the one to lead a nation?